July 30th, 2010
‘Spose it’s my day to be snotty.
Well, Michelle, when is it ever NOT your day to be snotty?
- Stupid filmmakers are the ones who ask their rich uncle for money to shoot their film.
- Then they rent a super fancy schmancy expensive gee-whiz crane for one overhead shot.
- Then, they run out of money after that one expensive gee-whiz shot.
- Halfway through their film.
- And can’t finish shooting the film.
- Then their rich uncle loses his money.
- He will never fund another one of their films.
- And they have spoiled it for the rest of us filmmakers who might have wanted to tap the rich uncle or the rich uncle’s friends.
Bitch, bitch, bitch.
Tags: indie, planning, producing, sarcastic, shooting, Snarky, stupid people
Posted by Michelle Shyman in Indie Filmmaking | No Comments »
July 26th, 2010
It was surreal—I kept waiting to read that it was a performance piece. Couldn’t quite believe he was dead. It’s personally disappointing to me that a performer who had such connection with his audience and such success–that people wanted to pay to hear him –still could be suicidal.
Tags: artist, CREATIVITY, despair, life, performance art
Posted by Michelle Shyman in Actors: Props & Disses | No Comments »
July 22nd, 2010
- My fear came back
- I ran out of money
- I felt I had learned the basics
- I didn’t want to advance to the next level, which is “relative work”, meaning you work in choreography with other skydivers. Many of them are cowboys with testosterone poisoning (even the women) and they dive unsafely and try crazy dangerous shit that could hurt other people, so there was nowhere for me to learn more and still be safe because they were people whom I didn’t trust.
- I am not very athletic, my body control is not that good; I was not at the top of the game, and I like to either win or quit.
- It never was the bowel-churning, head-twisting thrill I thought it would be
- I am a dabbler
- It took up the entire weekend–waiting for weather to clear–and I had other things to do
- It was expensive
- I didn’t like any of the people at the drop zone
- Drinking beer is boring
Why I quit producing indie films:
- I was sick of everyone hating me
- I ran out of money
- You can’t produce and act in the same film; I don’t care what anyone says: you just can’t do it
- It rains every day you have an exterior location
- Permits are ghastly expensive
- Everyone’s always rushing off to the next job
- I hated my last director
- Money for props? What money?
- The armorer flaked out at the last minute
- Anthony called and his car broke down and he was 2 hours from the location and it was 10 minutes to Places.
- The animal handler yelled at me
- I’m dehydrated from crying so much
- Everyone hates me and I’m broke
Tags: challenge, filmmaking, grief, guns, hope, indie, pain, producing, selfLoathing
Posted by Michelle Shyman in Indie Filmmaking | No Comments »
July 18th, 2010
oh fuck them all just fuck them all it is too insane and too bizarre the power they have over people’s dreams so just fuck them all and double fuck them in the ear by an elephant
Tags: actor, actress, artist, Asshole, career, challenge, despair, passion
Posted by Michelle Shyman in Kinda Nutz | No Comments »
July 14th, 2010
When I first moved to Seattle I used to tell my San Francisco friends that the Seattle artistic community was much more accessible than the San Francisco artistic community.
- I meant that in Seattle I could be at an art opening and walk up to the casting director for one of the Equity houses; and we would have a conversation about our mutual interests; but in S.F. I’d have to know the secretary of the mayor’s brother to even get in the same room as a casting director for an Equity house.
- I meant that in Seattle I could go to a party with a bunch of painters and meet a playwright and a musician and make new collaborative working partners or friends.
- I meant that I could post a notice on a theater list asking for writers and get a mix of playwrights, literary writers, non-fiction writers, and that the connection would keep growing and that we could meet to work together for 3 years every Saturday morning.
- I meant that I could be cast 30% of the times I auditioned, instead of 5% in the Bay Area.
So, perhaps that was all true. But, as I think back on my time in that rainy city, there also is another side. It seems to me that there was a distinct lack of professionalism, of follow-through, in Seattle to balance the availability of resources.
- For example, I was cast in 4 indie films and 2 TV shows that never shot. None of them even called to say, “Don’t come to the location; we’re not shooting.”
- Another 3 films I was in were shot but never edited.
- Actors who worked with me on writing screenplays or stage plays to self-produce and showcase our mutual acting work flaked out every time they got a project that was further along, and eventually flaked altogether on the collaborative self-promotion.
- A director-playwright canceled a show the instant actors in rehearsal gave her their feedback on their characters.
- A director extended a play script by adding a half hour from the film version to the stage script–making the play 190 minutes long; he did this so an actor could “get a few more lines and make it worth her while.”
- A local cable TV producer called in actors for a screen test, kept them for over 2 hours; never even reading some of the actors; instead, actors sat around while the writers changed the script back and forth.
- A commercial producer called in actors for what he called an “audition;” he taped our readings; later we found out that he edited the tapes into a pilot/pitch (using our un-paid work) to sell his concept to a sponsor; then he cast the infomercial out of L.A.
Though I recognize that many of the projects I’ve described were independent projects (only the infomercial could be considered a professional project), I still think the lack of professionalism is disturbing. In contrast, in San Francisco, the not-yet-professional folks were driven to finish projects and not to tarnish their reputations because they wanted to make it to a level where they could be paid for their work. In Seattle I got the feeling that to remain an unpaid hack is okay. That might be true for some folks as long as they’re having fun; however, the other part of that attitude is the lack of respect shown to their fellow participants in the process.
Tags: career, indie, Snarky, success, TRUTH
Posted by Michelle Shyman in Business Sense | No Comments »
July 10th, 2010
In our short history as independent screenwriters slash independent producers, my partner and I used to write character sketches after the script was finalized. We would make them available (but not hand them) to the director and the actors.
Some directors, the ones I label “Visual Directors” were not a bit interested in the sketches. To them it was all about camera angles, great framing, and good shot variation. Other directors, the “Emotional Directors,” would read the sketches, maybe using them for casting assistance or help working with the actors on set. Some Emotional Directors just read the sketches to give themselves more information; then they chose to formulate their own notions of the characters’ back-stories.
Some actors choose not to read the sketches, either. I was surprised by that. As an actor myself, I always write my own back-story when I’m cast; and if I’ve been given one by a director or writer, I always use it. Seems to me I’d be glad to get a character sketch so I knew what was in the director’s head. But, maybe not for every actor. Maybe to own the character, some actors need to create their own back-stories.
Looking back at the times we have written these sketches, I think that perhaps we felt compelled to create character sketches because the script itself was not excellent enough to give the actors sufficient information. Thinking forward to the feature-length I’m writing, I doubt I’ll write character sketches after the script is finalized. My new writing partner likes to answer a series of questions about each character during the writing, but does not share any of this with anyone but her co-writers. In this new script, I’ll use character sketches to help me write a better script, rather than as hand-outs to the director and actors.
What do other indie screenwriters do? Do you give character sketches to the director? Do you have them ready or do you only prepare them if asked? Have directors asked? Or do the directors reject this type of notes?
Tags: actor, directing, filmmaking, indie, screenwriting, writer
Posted by Michelle Shyman in Writing-How We Do It | No Comments »
July 6th, 2010
I fear I have swung way too far over in the paring down process in my script. I now have too many scenes in my script which are all subtext; and therefore, I have too little text.
How much is too much? How much is too little?

Tags: Balance, challenge, screenwriting, writer
Posted by Michelle Shyman in Writing-How We Do It | No Comments »
July 2nd, 2010
Films Which Have Cats
- “The Last Picture Show.” Jacy had a cat. She was mean to the cat. Pushed the cat off the bed. Jacy was mean to a lot of boys, too. Men were mean to Jacy. Goes around, comes around. Later Cybill Shepherd had an affair with Peter Bogdanovich and he left his wife Polly Platt for her, which is very dumb because if Cybill has sex like Jacy had sex, it would be very boring indeed.
- “Star Trek Generations.” The entire point of this story was finding Spot.
- “Never Talk to Strangers.” Serena the cat was murdered by Rebecca de Mornay. Doesn’t seem like a cat killer should be allowed to have wild sex with Antonio Banderas. Doesn’t seem right.

What? You think a list should be longer than three items?
Tags: cats, film, movies, murder, sex
Posted by Michelle Shyman in Talking 'bout Films | No Comments »
June 29th, 2010
A reader posts in response to my column of yesterday on food and emotions:
It is nice that you can use food as a tool to aid in your performances and your emotional uncertainties.
Food is a necessity and a right. Hunger is growing dramatically in the United States. Today, 1 in 8 Americans are receiving emergency food assistance from Feeding America, the largest food provider in the country, through the food pantries, soup kitchens and shelters it serves. Over one third of them are children. This new hunger is almost 50 percent higher than in 2006. Is it because less food is produced? We all know this is not the case. In this America of ours, we must have money to buy all the necessities of life, including food. And if you are forced to choose paying the rent or utilities, instead of buying food, then you and your family will experience hunger in America.
An abundance of food is produced in America. However, much of it is never placed into the marketplace. By withholding it from the market, farmers and food processors create an artificial shortage to maintain or inflate food prices. Meanwhile, the number of hungry Americans grows amidst an increasing abundance of food.
California is a good example of this national problem. Its farmland spans 25 million acres and produces about half of the nation’s fruits, nuts and vegetables, according to the California Department of Food and Agriculture. More than 6 million tons of California food products are dumped annually, according to state studies. Food is the largest single source of waste in California, making up 15.5 percent of the state’s waste stream, according to the California Integrated Waste Management Board.
At the same time nearly 40 million Americans, at some time or another can’t buy enough food. Like everything else in a market-based economy, food is for sale just like any other product. But food is not a luxury; it’s a most basic need of human beings. When it’s denied to people, it leads to human hunger and even death.
With today’s high-tech production methods, food is produced in such abundance that every person on the planet can be fed. There is no justifiable reason for anyone to go hungry. Only the corporations and their lust for profits and a government that protects them stand in our way.
Tags: Add new tag, life, politics, TRUTH
Posted by Michelle Shyman in Uncategorized | No Comments »
June 28th, 2010
Food in the belly soaks up anxiety. Eat to keep from feeling the pain. The uncertainty, the anxiety of chaos. Abandonment. The uncertainty. The unclearness of the path. The anticipation.
The one certain thing in life, the one thing I can always give myself, is that I can put food in my mouth whenever I feel bad.
It deadens pain, but it also deadens all emotion. When I am full with food, I cannot act. I cannot channel the feelings of the character. Feelings are blocked and absorbed by the food. The overriding sensation is satiety.
Comfort.
Somnolence.
Serotonin.
I must starve my stomach if I want to keep my instrument in tune. Before auditions, I don’t eat for at least 24 hours. Before I work out in class on an evening, I fast that day. During a shoot or during a run of a play I barely take sustenance.
The hungrier I get, the closer my emotions rise to the surface and are accessible for performance.
Interestingly, too, when I eat too much, the fat insulates me from being offered jobs and it insulates me from the human contact which I need to “fill up the well” of emotions & creativity. I am aware that I may really need this time of insulation from stimuli–in between creative, collaborative periods.
Tags: compulsions, CREATIVITY, life, pain, passion, selfLoathing
Posted by Michelle Shyman in Actors: How We Do It | 2 Comments »