An Acting Life by Michelle Shyman

Archive for the ‘Business Sense’ Category

Here Is Why You Are Not Getting Paid To Make Films

Wednesday, July 14th, 2010

When I first moved to Seattle I used to tell my San Francisco friends that the Seattle artistic community was much more accessible than the San Francisco artistic community.

  • I meant that in Seattle I could be at an art opening and walk up to the casting director for one of the Equity houses; and we would have a conversation about our mutual interests; but in S.F. I’d have to know the secretary of the mayor’s brother to even get in the same room as a casting director for an Equity house.
  • I meant that in Seattle I could go to a party with a bunch of painters and meet a playwright and a musician and make new collaborative working partners or friends.
  • I meant that I could post a notice on a theater list asking for writers and get a mix of playwrights, literary writers, non-fiction writers, and that the connection would keep growing and that we could meet to work together for 3 years every Saturday morning.
  • I meant that I could be cast 30% of the times I auditioned, instead of 5% in the Bay Area.

So, perhaps that was all true. But, as I think back on my time in that rainy city, there also is another side. It seems to me that there was a distinct lack of professionalism, of follow-through, in Seattle to balance the availability of resources.

  • For example, I was cast in 4 indie films and 2 TV shows that never shot.  None of them even called to say, “Don’t come to the location; we’re not shooting.”
  • Another 3 films I was in were shot but never edited.
  • Actors who worked with me on writing screenplays or stage plays to self-produce and showcase our mutual acting work flaked out every time they got a project that was further along, and eventually flaked altogether on the collaborative self-promotion.
  • A director-playwright canceled a show the instant actors in rehearsal gave her their feedback on their characters.
  • A director extended a play script by adding a half hour from the film version to the stage script–making the play 190 minutes long; he did this so an actor could “get a few more lines and make it worth her while.”
  • A local cable TV producer called in actors for a screen test, kept them for over 2 hours; never even reading some of the actors; instead, actors sat around while the writers changed the script back and forth.
  • A commercial producer called in actors for what he called an “audition;” he taped our readings; later we found out that he edited the tapes into a pilot/pitch (using our un-paid work) to sell his concept to a sponsor; then he cast the infomercial out of L.A.

Though I recognize that many of the projects I’ve described were independent projects (only the infomercial could be considered a professional project), I still think the lack of professionalism is disturbing. In contrast, in San Francisco, the not-yet-professional folks were driven to finish projects and not to tarnish their reputations because they wanted to make it to a level where they could be paid for their work.  In Seattle I got the feeling that to remain an unpaid hack is okay. That might be true for some folks as long as they’re having fun; however, the other part of that attitude is the lack of respect shown to their fellow participants in the process.

Return of the Effing Zombies

Wednesday, April 29th, 2009

‘member I told you a while back about my roommates at South By Southwest, the zombie film making people?


‘member how they wouldn’t speak to me while we were in Austin and ‘member how they freaked out when I told them I didn’t want to be their roomie any more? “Breaking up, la, la, la, is so, so very hard to do ooo.”


So, several months later I was at a shindig thrown by the Northwest Screenwriters’ Guild. NWSG usually has very serious events, like guest speakers, readings, pitch-fests and such-like. This time they shook it up a little and had a mixer in a bar.

Dive.

Dump.

Joint.

Hole.

Pit.


Well, it might very well be that every bar in Seattle is a dump. Very likely. I’ve only been in three or four, ever, in that town, and they all were the kind of disgusting that makes you cringe if you touch the walls.


Shot a short film in one that was so bad my sneakers kept sticking to the floor.


Saw a film festival in another one where the seats were…um…the crawly things on the seats were still crawling.


Oh, yes, the ridiculous ElimiDATE shot in several bars…what else, of course…there’s no way anyone could do that show sober.


So, bump up my count: I’ve been in about a dozen bars in Seattle—all dives.


Then, the Screenwriter’s bar. By the time I arrived, at the exact time the event was to start—no sense getting there early and having to actually socialize with anyone—screenwriters are a surly, misanthropic lot—the Guild President, Golly, was already sloshed. He had 7 empty glasses of blen

Schnockered.


So, I go upstairs and whom do I find? Yes, that’s right, the ZOMBIE FILMMAKERS. The same. The very same. Four of them are sitting at a table together, socializing with only themselves. There were already twenty other folks at the event—actors (they always show up), screenwriters, producers, auteurs, directors, industrial shooters, proctologists. You get the picture. Yet, the zombies are socializing with themselves.


In a way, I don’t blame them. I’m not a very good socialize myself. All that self-promotion and networking makes me get a migraine.


I walk over to the zombies’ table and say hi to each of them. Zuleika, Zinnia, Zandorf, Zhozsha. They all stare at me like they don’t know who the frick I am. Yo, I’m the fat chick who was sleeping naked on the floor of your hotel room.


Oh, forget it.

The I-Think-a-toids

Monday, March 30th, 2009

Metrics Matter, or Why Isn’t Anyone Coming to My Web Site

My friend Mills, a set designer, asked me, “What do you think of my web site?”

I figured he was asking me not only as a film producer who hires set designers, but as a person who managed a team of hundreds of people responsible for marketing, design, traffic tracking, conversion, customer acquisition, cross-merchandising and monetization of web real estate for one of the biggest e-commerce sites in the world.

So, I say to Mills, “Very pretty pictures, but hardly anyone will scroll to the right to ever see those pictures.”

“You see, there are studies upon studies showing that people will scroll DOWN a web page, but not to the right. “

Mills’ response?  “Well, I think it’s pretty.”

You think?

You THINK!?

You THINK based on what data?  Did you find some data up your butt?

That is not THINKING; it is metaphysics. It is an invention out of whole cloth from your ego.

Sure, you are an artist.  Or at least a craftsperson.  Often when you do your most successful work, you are driven by an instinct, or knowledge so deeply embedded that you could not explain it.  And sure, many times your work is lovely.  Or shocking.  Or haunting.  Or whatever the director wanted.

But, Mills, you are NOT a business person.  And a web site is NOT about pretty design.  It is about BUSINESS.  Getting business, attracting business.  A web site is not a set.  It is a sales tool.

So, Mills, when you ask a business person what they think about your web site as a tool for selling you (you, the artistic set designer, are simply the product in this case), you really should take that business person’s advice.

Making sales on the web is very much a science, not so much an art.   Everything is measureable.  You can find these metrics on your own or you can hire somebody like me to tell you.  But when I’m your friend and I tell you for free how to improve your web site, please don’t ignore me.  It pisses me off.  Then I write about you in my blog.

Everything is measurable.

· One can find (or conduct) studies that show how many or how few clicks the consumers prefer to make before a purchase is deducted from their credit card.  Or before they get to the pictures of your portfolio or before they get a little form to contact you.

· There are studies (or one can do one’s own A/B test) to show whether consumers scroll to the right or down or both or neither.

· There is data (or you can generate your own on your own site) about how image or button placement affects behavior and conversion.  At Amazon, for instance, we were able to measure the effect of moving an actionable image by as little as 1 pixel in any direction: moving the actionable images resulted in a measurable change in consumer behavior.  Not just clicking, but buying.

· There are studies (or you can do your own tests) that show which color combinations lead to conversion and which only lead to browsing.  In your case, conversion is a phone call to meet with the production manager.

· There is information on how often a home page layout should change to keep visitors returning (if this is important to your business.)

There are gazillions of discussions and papers devoted to how in every way your web site can be a better sales tool for you.

So, Mills, please, please, the correct business response to “what do you think of my web site?” is not “It’s pretty,” or “It’s not pretty,” or “I like it,” or “I don’t like it.”  The correct response is: “The layout will elicit such-and-such response from your clients,” or “We should study or test how the placement of the artistic elements best helps you get phone calls,” or “You are wasting your time & money on this-n-that.”

Even if you don’t listen to my advice, dear friend, or don’t hire me, please spend a few bucks to hire someone whose profession it is to make web sites work.

Or don’t bother having one.

Team Building, Part One

Friday, March 13th, 2009

Currently, I am working with a client who hired me because I am successful putting huge teams together to accomplish amazing things in a short period of time. Seems like film producers do this all the time; yet often other businesses can’t get the knack.

This particular client is having a problem building his team because has a tendency to “hire alike.” This is a wrong practice, a practice that many business executives do wrong, but a practice that many film producers do correctly; that is, films “hire unlike.” If a leader makes the mistake of hiring people with whom s/he is entirely comfortable, those with whom s/he would be good buds or those with whom s/he would always agree; then that leader will not have a well-rounded team. That executive will have a team with a lot of skill gaps, a team with a tendency towards group-think and a team that will not be able to break out of stuckness.

This current client of mine, Nolan, a very dynamic, motivational salesperson and the CEO of a company, perceives difficulties with his technology executive and his business development executive.

The tech executive is all about requesting facts, details & clarifications; the sales-y CEO Nolan describes this as “Kieran is challenging me and being uncooperative.” Nolan (a first-time CEO) sees Kieran’s request for operational details as disloyal, rather than seeing it as a wise input to the executive team, an input that will ensure solid systems to support the business goals. Nolan asks Kieran for a budget; Kieran says he can’t do a budget without understanding the planned customer acquisition ramp and the customer support infrastructure required for that customer ramp. Nolan thinks Kieran is being stubborn and “not nimble” and “not startup.”

Nolan is reluctant to commit to a customer acquisition ramp because it’s not Nolan’s strength: Nolan is a strategist, a visionary.

The biz dev VP, Felicia, has offered her projections of the estimated customer ramp; she has offered to share with the entire executive team these projections and her plans to accomplish them; but Nolan doesn’t want to commit to something he has not analyzed himself; and thus has asked Felicia not to publish her projections.

Nolan is making two “hire alike” mistakes.

· One: seeing Kieran’s way of approaching business planning as “disloyal” instead of as an incredible contribution to a robust team. Kieran’s approach is different from Nolan’s. It should be. They have different roles and different skills.

· Two: not trusting Felicia’s projections because Nolan is unable to create projections like that himself. Nolan should not have to know how to do everything himself. He has hired Felicia because she has experience and skills and tools that Nolan doesn’t have.

I would like to be able to encourage Nolan to embrace the unlikeness of his team members as gifts instead of seeing them as problems to be corrected.

We could never make films if we weren’t able to have visionary directors working alongside nit-picking line producers. The DP can only execute his dreamy landscapes with the help of a very anal focus-puller. A director who just wants to tell a story would not get very far if she didn’t understand that the lead actor needs to be a hair-trigger reactor, in the moment, not a planner of the entire story arc. In film we seem to be able to embrace our unlikeness and fly. Film is the most amazingly collaborative art form. Film is the most amazingly collaborative business.

How Not To Get Hired for Voice Work

Thursday, August 21st, 2008


The whole thing about getting hired is LISTENING.  Listening to what the client wants and giving them what she wants.  Or at least trying to give the client what she wants.  Sales-and, actors, you are selling yourself-is about listening, not so much about talking.


Allow me to relate some stories of casting for voice work and of the actors whom I did not hire; along with the story of one whom I did.

  • Ad 1 says, “Casting a 6 to 8 year old girl’s voice.”

  • Actor A, a 40+ year old woman, calls me on the phone and says, “I am very tiny-about 4′ 2″-and I am often mistaken for younger than I am.”

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  • Ad 2 says, “Please email a link to your online voice demo.”

  • Actor B emails thusly: “I don’t have a demo, but my father is a well-known radio personality and my voice sounds similar to his. You can listen to him on the morning commute slot.”

  • Yes, his daddy.

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  • Ad 3 says, “Casting for a non-paid experimental short.”

  • Actor C writes, “Send me your copy and I’ll send you a rate sheet.”

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  • Ad 4 requests a “deep voiced narrator.”

  • Actor D sends a headshot.

  • Yes, seriously.

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  • Ad 5 is casting for “two senior actors to voice an elderly married couple.”

  • Actor E sends me a link to a very 20-something voice demo.

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  • Ad 6 specifically requests, “Web links only. No demo tapes. This is a rush job.”

  • Actor F calls to query, “But, Michelle, what if my demo is not up on the web yet? I can get it up there next week or so.”

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  • Ad 7 asks for, “East Indian accent, male, 20s to 60s.”

  • In response to this ad, I receive the voice file of Actor G, who speaks through one of those holes cut into your throat when you have lung or throat cancer.

  • Yuck.

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  • Ad 8 is non-specific, only seeking, “a range of voices for my file.”

  • Actor H leaves me a voicemail: “Oh, god, I need to talk to you. I really want to talk to you.”

  • Hmmm…What about what I, the client, need or want?

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  • Ad 9 desires: “Business man or woman with a confidence-inspiring, ‘leadership’ voice who can handle multi-syllabic pharmaceutical product names.”

  • Actor I actually sends me a link to 3 voice snippets in which she is explaining a ridiculously complex chemistry process selling a molybdenum-vanadium knife telling a parent of a sick child about bovine spongiform encephalitis

  • Holy crap. I gots me a listener. You are soooo hired, dude!

Rich People, Part Two

Sunday, July 27th, 2008

A couple dozen people at a party, all Hundred Millionaires. Except me, of course. I could hardly afford the petrol to drive to the party.

“Quit whining.” (My evil twin again.)

I overhear the following:

Hunnert Mill Heinrich: “Did you hear that Zordog made the Forbes ‘100 Richest in the World’ list?

Hunnert Mill Harold: “Yes. Have you talked to him lately?”

Hunnert Mill Heinrich: “No. Ever since he made that list, he has upgraded his social contacts. He only hangs with the billionaires now.”

Check this, my homies: rich people are soooo not like you and me. They even dump their Hundred Millionaire friends when these friends are not upscale enough.

Ten Mill Tom: “Hey, you guys, can anyone get me a meeting with Zordog? Anyone, anyone?”

Crowd edges away from Ten Mill Tom, leaving him alone with the caterer’s assistant.


Rich People Are Just Like You and Me

Wednesday, July 2nd, 2008


NOT


That ridiculous myth is popularized in motivational speeches and in sales training classes. It is SO not true.


Rich People Part One


There is this dude, an ex-boss of mine.  Let’s call him Mister Arrgh. Time was…after we had stopped working together…I used to call him on the phone once in a while to keep in touch. “Oh, Michelle, stop dissembling. Truth be told, you used to call him on the phone once in a while to see if he could help you get work.” (That was my evil twin admonishing me to tell the truth.) Yes, yes, that’s true: I used to call him to see if he could help me get work.

I figured that he would be inclined to help me since I was a key member of a project which earned Mister Arrgh one hundred million dollars. Yep. A hundred mill. (I got about twenty thou out of it.) After the project was launched, I lost my job and Mister Arrgh retired to be a rich dude. So, I figured I’d call and ask if some of his other rich friends could use an employee or contractor such as myself.

During one of these phone calls, Mister Arrgh kindly counseled me, “Why don’t you do like me and take a few years off instead of looking for work right away?”

“Um, excuse me, Mister Hundred Millionaire…” Never mind, he didn’t get it. Cat food going up from $0.69 to $1.69 did not affect him the same way it affected me.

Years later, I read that Mister Arrgh was no longer a Hundred Millionaire: through his investments, he had become a Billionaire.


Transition to present day

Sonny Reebop Beebop Gotchamunny Rite Heer, one of my current clients, is starting an entertainment company. He learned that I knew Mister Arrgh. “Will you call Arrgh and ask him to invest in the Sonny Reebop Beebop Gotchamunny Rite Heer Super Cool Entertainment Company?”

“Well, Sonny, ever since Arrgh graduated to being a Billionaire, I am afraid to call him.”

Sonny Reebop Beebop Gotchamunny Rite Heer says to me, “Rich people are just like poor people; only they have money.” That’s his thesis. Then Sonny grins like he said something smart.

Sonny is my client. I laugh at his little attempt at lightheartedness. Okay, I’ll email Mister Arrgh.

  • No answer
  • Email again
  • No answer
  • Again
  • None
  • Leave a message on his mobile phone.

Five minutes later, I get a call from Squeaky Secretary. “Oh, we ~never~ use this phone number any more; I just accidentally picked up your message; please erase this phone number from your rolodex.” Ya, ya, sure. I now know that Arrgh has also graduated from simply being patronizing to me to no-longer-taking-my-calls. Sure, rich people are just like you and me, except they don’t return calls from their used-to-be-friends.

Michelle Shyman